zazen
I started zazen (Zen sitting meditation) training this morning. When my alarm rang at 4:30am I was seriously considering my own sanity. I had managed to get to bed at a reasonable hour last night, but at 4:30am, with a warm hairless kitty on either side of me, the siren’s wail of my cocoon of a bed nearly kept me at home.
But not this morning.
Amid a chorus of meows, I slipped into a hot shower and finally out into the cold morning. The Clark bus came reasonably fast and I found myself at Belmont and Clark at 5:45. The Starbucks opens at 5:30 (note to self…) so I was able to pop in and wi-fi my fave podcasts into my Shuffle for use on the train while enjoying a cup of mint tea. Yum.
I knew a bit about what we were going to do, but to be honest, I was intimidated. The second foor of the dojo has a really strong feeling to me. That may sound like poppycock (damn, I NEVER get to use that word) but it’s true. They practice Iaido and Kendo up there, both sword arts. They are violent and harsh, which most likely explains why the space feels out of synch with my brain.
I saw a stack of pillows when we went up to the second floor. Sherik Sensei had a large one that looked like a hatbox. We all grabbed a few slim ones and a large square one. Then he taught us how to line up and enter the area for sitting. There’s some definite ritualness to it (everything Japanese is a ritual) but there was nothing stiffly formal.
The goal, it seems, is to sit rather cross-legged with your behind propped up higher than your knees. When you settle into the right posture, your back naturally holds you up properly and you can remain there for long periods without any pain.
While we were sitting, he explained we should try and not focus on much except our breathing. If there were any nagging thoughts, just let them pass. Count one breath, then two, and so on. If something really came into your mind, start back at one and work your way up. The goal was ten. I barely made five when I heard someone’s stomach gurgle and that broke my concentration.
I definitely need to buy a pillow (zafu) and a mat (zabuton) at some point because the ones at the dojo aren’t tall enough. I have a big butt and I need to haul it up high. Like Aikido, I haven’t the foggiest idea where this sitting is going to take me. But that’s the point of going on a new journey right? Who wants to know the end before the trip begins?