radiopeter

New Year’s Eve musings as I look back at the year that brought me into podcasting, into the gayborhood, and beyond. Plus a little Gospel music at the end of the show.

So this morning I’m listening to Sister Dorothy. No, not that Dorothy. Dorothy Love Coates, one of the greatest singers of all time.

My morning rituals seldom depart from their usual monotony, but this morning while trying to haul my backside out of bed, I decided I needed some Sister Dorothy. Powered up the laptop, perched it atop the commode, and Dorothy and The Original Gospel Harmonettes began to wail in my bathroom.

I think I’ve written about this before, but showering while listening to Gospel music is brilliant. Gettin’ clean while praisin’ the Lord is no joke. Spiritual and physical cleansing at the same time. Good stuff.

It’s funny. I know so many of the words of each of the songs from their albums, but over time I’ve only begun to realize what they really mean to me. That’s sort of the magic of music. You can learn the melody and the words, but they’re not your own until you fit them into your life.

I Wouldn’t Mind Dying is one of my favorites. It’s Jazzy, it has some great call-and-response (my favorite kind of old school Gospel), and Sister Dorothy really growls during some of the verses.

Truly, I’m happy today. I’m happy with my life, my place in the world, and the people I know. Could I be happier? Maybe.

But the top of the mountain isn’t always the best place to live.

You know I wouldn’t mind dying
        (wouldn’t mind dying)
Whoo, Lord
        (wouldn’t mind dying)
Wouldn’t mind dying
        (wouldn’t mind dying)
Oh Lord, I wouldn’t mind dying if it’s time to go

I know I got to go and I can’t stay here
        (wouldn’t mind dying if it’s time to go)
I’ll be alright if Jesus is near
        (wouldn’t mind dying if it’s time to go)
My mother and my father both are goin’ home
        (wouldn’t mind dying if it’s time to go)
I’ve heard when the church bells toll
        (wouldn’t mind dying if it’s time to go)

And I wouldn’t mind dying
        (wouldn’t mind dying)
Wouldn’t mind dying
        (wouldn’t mind dying)
Wouldn’t mind dying
        (wouldn’t mind dying)
Oh Lord, I wouldn’t mind dying if it’s time to go

…

James Joseph Brown Jr. passed away on Christmas. The Godfather of Soul is dead.

Ever since I can remember, I’ve known the music of James Brown. It took a very long time for me to understand what the hook ‘papa don’t take no mess’ meant, but I knew all the words to that track. Even now I can hear it echoing in my head.

James Brown was truly a legend.

Funk, for me, is personified in James Brown. His phenomenal dancing, his exquisite timing, and his shrill and staccato vocalizations bounce in my head whenever someone mentions Funk. He was possibly not the sole creator of the genre, but he formed Funk into the beast we know it as today. On two feed that never stopped moving, microphone in hand, hair pressed into curls that would outshine even the sun, he could funk you up with a look and swing of the hips.

He lived Funk. He breathed Funk. And when he was on stage, you felt every ounce of it.

I had the chance to see him a few times in Chicago over the years, each time better than the previous. There’s that moment when you’re at a great performance when you become a part of it all. It’s not them vs. you, it’s all of you, together, wrapped up in the moment.

He had the power to bring people together. I don’t care what color, age, or part of the country you were from, when James Brown was in town, the crowds were as colorful as a rainbow.

I’m gonna miss you JB.

Mama said Papa smart
Papa got a whole lotta heart
And Papa would do his part
When the game get hard

Christmas Eve was fun. Much food, much laughter, good family times together.

But the real treat was Christmas Day, when I saw Dreamgirls with my friend Josh.

Wow.

The movie is beautifully shot. Every scene is a gorgeous Technicolor painting. The makeup and hair are especially wonderful, and I hope the artists who created the hundreds of wigs and hundreds of faces get lots of recognition. The women boldly assert the style of the times in each and every scene. It really was impressive, and I’m a hard person to impress when it comes to makeup. If it’s not ‘Dangerous Liasons’ or ‘Amadeus’ (I love period makeup) I usually don’t think twice about it.

Beyoncé, as I predicted, will take some more time to find herself on screen. She was illuminating every time she sang, but in some of the scenes she was rather flat. No matter though, her stunning beauty and pipes of gold will still carry her far. Soon she’ll be a huge force to be reckoned with on the screen. Not tomorrow, but soon.

Anika Noni Rose was effervescent and so apropos of the part, I want to give her a big bear hug and tell her how fabulous she was. The scene where she says goodbye to Jimmy was masterful, despite how short it is. All the years of their relationship’s up’s and down’s, summed up in a few short words. Her final look at him, a glance made up of pain and strength, makes her one of the more worthy contenders in the Oscar arena.

And speaking of Jimmy, Eddie Murphy was stellar. Music, dance, personality, the entire arc of his character was really on point. Truly an inspired and wonderful performance. I hope he wins everything he can. He deserves it. But Dawnn Lewis, who plays his wife, looked like a man!

Jamie Fox was forgettable. Really forgettable.

Loretta Devine makes a cameo as a nightclub singer, which is really interesting because she was, as far as I can tell, the only original Broadway production cast member to make it into the movie. Jennifer Holliday, during an interview, said that she was a bit disappointed that they didn’t contact her to make some sort of cameo.

And finally, I come to Jennifer Hudson.

A star is born.

From the very first scene she appears in, until the finale where she’s bringing down the house with the other Dreams, Jennifer Hudson commands the screen. Her performance was both complex and simple at times. Watching her burst into song seemed natural for her character. None of the other actors had that ability. Above all, she seemed to effortlessly perform in the role. There was never a doubt in her mind, or in mine, that she was Effie White. I hope this is the beginning of a long and wonderful career for her in both music and film.

There are so many people online that hide. Their blogspot/myspace/blogger/etc. profile shows some stupid picture of something they find amusing.

What are you hiding from? Why can’t you show your face?

Why hide?

There are some nights when I’m playing music that everything seems to go right.

Last night was one of them.

I had two CD’s full of new tracks and I played them all. The crowd soaked them up, while they were soaking up their dollar drinks. I’m not ignorant of the fact that most of folks are there to party their behinds off and drink a lot, especially since it’s Christmas weekend.

I suppose I could play anything and they’d live for it.

But for me, the set went exceedingly well. I started DEEPER than deep and super slow, raising the bar slowly and steadily for three hours. By 1am the groove was exactly where I intended it to be.

Finishing with the first record I’d ever spun in public, “Forever” by Sandy Rivera & John Alvarez, it made me think about my first full three years as a DJ. Indeed, it seems like I’ve been spinning forever.

But the song made me think of him. And in many ways, I was singing it to him, even though he wasn’t there. Wherever he is, wherever he will be, and wherever I am, I’m singing for him.

I cried a little bit in the booth last night.

“Forever” by Sandy Rivera & John Alvarez
featuring vocals by Shawnee Taylor

forever, forever, forever
forever, forever, forever
feel my love forever

my love goes on and on for eternity
goes on endlessly, forever
time has no chance to get a hold of me
’cause I’ve been set free
it’s forever
theres no end, I can finally be
in love with no uncertainties
it’s forever

I’m with you no matter what they say
so take my hand and let’s fly away
flyin’, flyin’, flyin’
flyin’, flyin’, flyin’

forever, I’ll be
forever, in love
forever, with you
forever, I’ll be there
forever, I’ll be
forever, by your side
forever, for ever

feel your love, feel
feel your love, feel

I’d give up everything I own
so you don’t have to feel alone
find a place where the sun never sets
baby we’ll have no regrets
like the wind
it just carries on
like the sound of your favorite song
feeling good could never be wrong
just as long
as you promise me

forever, forever, forever
forever, I’ll be there
forever, by your side
forever, baby

feel your love, feel
feel your love, feel

flyin’, flyin’, flyin’
flyin’, flyin’, flyin’

my love, my love
I’ll be, I’ll be here
by your side, side, side

my love is for ever

feel my love forever

Tickets purchased. You should fandango them if you don’t have ‘em now…

Five days left…

I failed the homework assignment John Ong gave us on the Windy City Queercast. He asked for us to talk about why we podcast and the first part of this program is my answer.

As far as the second part goes, I gotta let go. I really do. But it’s hard ’cause I really like him a lot.

It looks like I’ll be doing some shopping on Sunday out in the burbs, so I need to make my list and check it twice. Family only though, as I rarely swap presents with friends.

Dreamgirls is getting many mixed reviews, and I’m not surprised. Beyonce isn’t a great actress yet, so I’m fairly certain she’ll be rather flat in the film. Notice how I said yet. I think she has the potential, but for someone who can act so well with her voice, she needs to learn to act with her body. That doesn’t happen overnight. I’m still in her corner, pulling for her.

Jennifer Hudson, however, seems to have hit the nail on the head according to all sources. I’m trying very hard to avoid pictures and video clips of the movie. The only theatrical trailer I’ve seen had Jennifer Holliday, the original Effie, singing “You’re Gonna Love Me.”

I want it to all be new when I see the film.

I’m also really intrigued by the upcoming Pan’s Labyrinth which promises to be visually spectacular. Can’t wait to see that one.

melancholy:
1. : an abnormal state attributed to an excess of black bile and characterized by irascibility or depression
2a. : depression of spirits
2b. : a pensive mood

Yes indeed. Melancholy is the word of the day. But music always comes to the rescue, and I can’t seem to stop listening to The Brand New Heavies track Let’s Do It Again. It’s WAY Disco-licious.

Nothing quite like Disco to pump up my spirits.

It’s nearly midnight and I can’t sleep. I don’t feel well physically, I’ve missed a birthday celebration because I fell asleep and feel horrible about it, but at the top of the list, he’s on my mind and I can’t get him out. And thus I’m awake.

I wish I were numb over this whole situation, but I’m really not. For years, and I do mean years, I’ve been able to see him. The different sides of him; the facets of who he is. And his strength.

My god, his strength of character. I nearly melt every time I think about how genuine he is.

So instead of shutting my mouth about it, I go and make an ass of myself every time I’m around him. It’s not as if I haven’t made my thoughts known. I don’t know how much more clear I can be. Maybe I’ve been too up-front. Too pushy.

I’m a good read of people. And he’s saying he needs to find himself. The words that come out of his mouth don’t match up with the pain in his eyes.

It’s that pain that never passes. It always hurts, and the hollow in your heart never heals. But there is a definite turning point. A time will come when you can draw strength and courage from the ache.

But you have to make that happen. It doesn’t happen by itself. And sometimes, it only happens when someone else is there with you, holding your hand.

None of us can change the past, yet we all create the future.

I’m living in an empty room
With all the windows smashed
And I’ve got so little left to lose
That it feels just like I’m walking on broken glass

Walking On Broken Glass by Annie Lenox

It’s a little bit funny this feeling inside
I’m not one of those who can easily hide
I don’t have much money but boy if I did
I’d buy a big house where we both could live

If I was a sculptor, but then again, no
Or a man who makes potions in a travelling show
I know it’s not much but it’s the best I can do
My gift is my song and this one’s for you

And you can tell everybody this is your song
It may be quite simple but now that it’s done
I hope you don’t mind
I hope you don’t mind that I put down in words
How wonderful life is while you’re in the world

I sat on the roof and kicked off the moss
Well a few of the verses well they’ve got me quite cross
But the sun’s been quite kind while I wrote this song
It’s for people like you that keep it turned on

So excuse me forgetting but these things I do
You see I’ve forgotten if they’re green or they’re blue
Anyway the thing is what I really mean
Yours are the sweetest eyes I’ve ever seen

Have I said too much

there is nothing more I can think of to say to you

but all you have to do

is look at me to know that every word

is true.

Brrr. It’s cold. But I got some stuffs to get done, so I need to head out into it all.

Truly, winter is here.

So a note to all of you interested in Invisalign. Do NOT skip the essential step of taking something for the pain BEFORE you put a new set of trays in at bedtime.

I woke up this morning with a symphony of hell in my mouth. My alarm rang and the first thing I noticed was how much my teeth hurt. The evening before, I decided not to take advil before I put in my new trays as a test.

So after eating a quick bit of leftovers last night, I popped my new trays in, turned down the heat, and curled up under the blankets with the cats. My teeth were aching a bit, but nothing tremendous. Until this morning.

Ouch I say. Ouch.

I saw a Frontline (or maybe it was POV or Independent Lens) once about the science of surgery and the whole scheme by insurance companies to get you out of the hospital as quickly as possible after you’ve been cut open. Researchers found that pain management for large incisions can be managed more effectively if you use anesthetic injections on the incision, even while the patient is already asleep.

The theory was, in brief, if you never inflicted pain on the pain receptors because you numbed them before you cut, as the incision site healed, the pain receptors would report less pain than if you just knocked the patient out and cut them open. It has something to do with how cellular trauma opens more pain channels, or makes the pain receptors more likely to fire after they’ve been traumatized. Really fascinating stuff (yes, I’m a total geek).

Current procedures, or at least when I saw the documentary (which was a few years ago), usually involved putting the patient to sleep, but didn’t take the added step of using local anesthetics at the incision site. According to the insurance companies, who pay for it all, why use a local when the patient isn’t going to feel it anyway?

The researchers indeed found that local anesthetics did help, and thus the patients recovered faster, using far less pain medication and experiencing quicker incision healing times.

I suppose that was a long way of explaining why, before you put your trays in, you should take something for the pain. It seems to me, by the same theory as the incision example I mentioned, if the pain receptors in your gums are less stressed while the initial movements are happening during that first night of a new tray, by the time the medication wears off, they won’t hurt as much.

I seem to have proved it with my mouth.

Truth be told, it isn’t THAT painful. It’s more of an ache. But for the next set of trays (set five) I move to, I will take something before bed. For set six, I think I’ll repeat the experiment to see what happens.