dinner, a coffee, and some fear
Yesterday evening was full of good company. Mom and Dad fed me until I nearly burst. And afterward, I hung out for a bit with him. He, who likes spending time with me but either isn’t ready or is afraid to take this to the next level. In the mean, whatever time I have with him, I enjoy.
I’m afraid too. Nothing right now would be better than finding myself able to spend more time with him. But inside my head, I’m still trying to piece together why I’m so head over heels. This vulnerable person isn’t me.
Or at least it wasn’t me until now.
I’m not afraid of being rejected. That’s not an issue because falling off the horse a few times is good in my world. I’ve been there and done that, so I’m good at falling safely.
What am I most afraid of? All the reasons my previous relationships didn’t work out. Cheating, deception, using intimate details against me. I can’t see how he is even possible of such things because frankly, I’ve never met a guy who could hold up a shred of goodness to his. But those are my fears and I intend to conquer them.
With any luck, we’ll be battling our fears together.