post #600
This post makes 600 entries. I looked back through much of my blog to see what I learned. And you know what, I’ve learned a ton. I’ve also learned I really don’t know much. But that’s not what I wanted to talk about right now.
Right now I want to talk about, well, right now. If you’ve kept up with my many stories about ‘that guy’, this is a continuation of that tale.
The other day while we were talking, he mentioned that I’m chasing him pretty hard, and that nobody has ever chased him like that before. He thinks I’m chasing him because I’m used to working hard to get the things I want, and he’s just another thing I want, and thus I’m working hard to get it. And he doesn’t think he calls me out on stuff…
It hurt a bit to hear him say that. No, it hurt a lot. He’s not a trophy or a ribbon. He’s not the light at the end of a tunnel. And he’s certainly nothing I’d ever consider a conquest. But I’m no fool. I see his point as clear as day. I AM used to working hard.
What I’m asking myself right now is; am I working hard for him or for me?
More than anything in the world, I’d like to wake up as often as possible next to him. I’m fortunate to have a lot of opportunities in my life that I can share. I’d like to share them with him. It’s all fine and well to learn about the world around you by yourself. But somehow, I enjoy it more when I’m with someone.
At this point, we’re sharing a close friendship that’s pretty much swiss cheese. There are big gaps all over the place. That isn’t a bad thing, because as time goes on we’re slowly learning more and more about each other. Is that work? Am I working too hard? For him or for me?
Shit, I don’t know. I can’t even pretend to be objective about him or our friendship.
It doesn’t feel like hard work. It doesn’t feel like work at all. When I hang out with him, time becomes really irrelevant. We seem to have great times together. We’re alike enough to get along and different enough to keep it interesting.
I don’t know much about where we’ll end up, but I know for sure is that I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.
Maybe, by the time another few hundred posts hit this blog, I’ll know some more about this situation. Until then, it’s just one day at a time. Ohhh, which reminds me of the FABULOUS theme song from that television show One Day At A Time. It’s totally call-and-response Gospel. Those are church chords, and don’t you let anyone tell you otherwise. You can hear the organs and the funky piano. Amen!
One Day At A Time
by John and Nancy BarryThis is it (this is it)
This is life, the one you get
So go and have a ball.This is it (this is it)
Straight ahead and rest assured
You can’t be sure at all.So while you’re here enjoy the view
Keep on doing what you do
So hold on tight we’ll muddle through
One day at a time, One day at a time.So up on your feet (up on your feet)
Somewhere there’s music playing.
Don’t you worry none
We’ll just take it like it comes.One day at a time, one day at a time