radiopeter

This is a must read for all your celebrity fans. Some of the folks you love are complete and utter geeks. And I love ‘em, ’cause I’m a geek too.

We have an elf, he is fab, and we have a snowman. Yay. Rehearsal last night was meaty. Before, we were only playing with positioning and literal blocking, but not so much of the why we are doing what we are doing. It’s wasn’t bad or good. Just the style of our director. I’m agnostic because at the end of the day, the stuff I’m doing on stage doesn’t gel until I have all the lines in my head. I don’t mean MY lines (I’m SO not off book or anything). I mean the lines of the other characters.

The stage is about permutations of conversations to me. Maybe I’m talking to A. Maybe A is talking to B. Maybe C talks to the audience. Whatever the combination, there is a conversation going on. With or without words. But until I have all the conversations in my head, i.e. the lines of the other characters, I don’t know what I’m going to do. I have a sense of it, but I don’t know what to do.

Last night I started to hear the conversations in my head as we started to figure out why we are doing what we do. Things are starting to come into focus for me, at least as far as the conversations go. The sight gags, the dancing, and the singing will fall in place later. But thank god I’m starting to be able to hear the other characters in my head.

Rachael is going to be our choreographer praise Jesus ament. I may speak four languages fluently but I don’t speak dance. If someone says jete, plieat, voulezroulexau, chansoirez, gateau aux fraises, or any other one of those mystical dance terms, I’m completely stumped. Rachael, on the other hand, knows ‘em all and was my lifeline throughout Rudolph 2006. Our previous director Tim would tell us “ok, Charleston for four beats then…” and I couldn’t hear the rest because I was thinking Charleston Chews were a kind of candy that I’d eaten as a child and did they dance in the television commercial for it and what were they doing in that dance and was it a partnered dance because I’m standing here by myself and oh my god I lost track of what is going on and they are all moving and I’m standing here like a dumb ass wandering down memory lane pondering candy that I ate as a child. Then I’d look at Rachael and copy her. Easy peasy.

Needless to say I’m pleased that she’s gonna lead us.

Mike Miller and I have a Coach Comet moment that is complete with him cackling in my ear in the most evil of ways. It’s freaky and I feel uncomfortable when he does it. I love that because really, I’m not acting, I’m just trying to get away from that creepy man. I love me some Mike, he’s fab, but Coach Comet gives me the shivers. I totally knew a gym coach like him, but she was a woman and had a thang for the ladies. I might have to call her Coach Cometina from now on. OMG, her first name was Orvilla. Coach Orvilla Cometina. That sounds like a Southern black drag queen that looks like The Lady Chablis.

Two tears in a bucket, motherfuck it.

DOUBLE OMG, The Lady Chablis has a book and I’ve never read it?!?! It’s called Hiding My Candy!!! Ok, I just screamed at my desk and two of my co-workers asked me if I was ok. The Lady has a book. I need to read this NOW.

What a random blog post. More Birds tonight. Damn, I’ve GOT to get The Lady’s book.

Only in America are people dumb enough to think if something is glowing it MUST have received too much radiation.

Fools. Stupid, idiotic, fools.

The Tribune reported some folks in Seattle found their seafood glowing and were afraid to eat it because “I thought that maybe it had been overirradiated (sic), you know, too much radiation. Now, whenever I buy seafood, I take it home and turn out the lights.”

Dumb ass, things don’t glow when they’re exposed to radiation. Do YOU glow when you get x-rayed at the dentist? Do boobs glow after a mammogram? Does Chernobyl glow at night? The answer is an emphatic NO.

If these people dropped out of school, I can understand their confusion. But all of us learned at one point or another that fireflies and bacteria and those creepy fish deep in the sea are capable of making their own light. Bio-luminescence may perhaps sound like a foreign word, but if you’ve never heard of the concept you’re an idiot in my book.

After much hysterics, they found that the seafood had bacteria that was bio-luminescent all over it. Cooking it would have killed the bacteria. The food was totally safe.

Go swim in the Biobay. You might learn something. I’ve been there and it’s fan-freaking tastic.

Too priceless. If you haven’t seen The Birds, you SO aren’t cool.

Isn’t Ed purty?

Delicious David!

My morning ritual has shifted these last couple weeks. Early meetings at work, rushing to rehearsal after work, and basically collapsing when I get home has meant that I need a bit of caffeinated help in the morning. My savior comes in the form of a gift pack purchased during my trip to London this past July.

Harrod’s Heritage Pure Loose Leaf Tea, Earl Grey No. 42

It’s so good I’ve written a haiku about it:

cold winter morning
Earl Grey tea, fragrant and hot
you wake me nicely

I take my Earl Grey with a tablespoon each of cream and real sugar, my spin on Capt. Jean-Luc Picard’s frequent Earl Grey dosage. I’ll admit right here, right now, to having a Patrick Stewart fantasy where we are in some random Bruce Wayne mansion, sitting in two high backed red velvet covered chairs in front of a crackling fireplace. I have a caramel colored chenille throw on my lap, he has a dark blue one. A small pedestal table between us holds a giant pot of Earl Grey snug in it’s cozy and two fine china cups rest on dainty saucers. We sip Earl Grey together and recite our favorite Shakespearean passages. He surprisingly loves The Taming Of The Shrew and does a fierce Kate. He is wowed by my Cassius. I weep at his dying Anthony. And we giggle as we muse about Oberon’s sexuality.

Woah. Where was I?

I never used to drink it with cream and sugar but since my recent fast my tastes have changed. I’m eating more spicy foods than ever before (I ate a QUART of kimchi last week!) and somehow my tea needs to be sweetened with milk.

Tea calms and stimulates. It relaxes me before I start my day, but it also prepares me for the next adventure. And given Mercury is in retrograde these days, it only makes sense to be alert and aware of the world around us.

I suspect I’m going to have to bribe one of my London co-workers to visit Harrod’s and ship me some Earl Grey No. 42. My stash is looking mighty thin these days. I’m not sure I can bring myself to order from Harrods.com. I wonder if I could arrange another business trip…

I talked to a man in Texas today about buying his HF rig. It was still for sale, and for a STEAL I’m purchasing a Kenwood TS-570D(G). The specs will prolly mean next to nothing to you dear readers, but hey, at least it LOOKS cool and has a bunch of knobs. I still don’t have a power source for it (you don’t just plug these bad boys into the wall), or an antenna (this ain’t your rabbit eared kinda box, I need something that’s about 130 feet long), or an antenna tuner (not the kind that changes channels, the kind that measures standing wave ratios and matches impedance to a beautiful 50 ohms), or even a license to transmit signals outside of Morse code on just a few of the bands it covers. That’s all in the works. I don’t speak Morse yet, but I will. And my license will be several months away methinks.

But I’m getting it, and will get the necessary gizmos in order to LISTEN to what is out there. Every moment of every day there are billions of radio waves bouncing around the atmosphere from all over the place. Some come from outer space, some come from the news and television stations around the globe, some come from boys and girls like me who are HAM radio operators, and some even emanate from that naughty little battery operated toy in the back of your closet. I’ll skip listening to the latter, but I want to get on the airwaves and listen. I’m a step closer with this rig.

—

Tonight I’m house managing The Birds. I don’t know what that means or how long I’ll be there, but Rudolph rehearsal has been canceled. Poo. I want to dance and sing. Maybe I’ll do an impromptu limbo while singing Sade for the crowds.

—

Leaving for Toronto in four days. Zippity do dah! What AM I gonna be for Halloweenie?

We lost both our Samantha the snow woman and one of our elves. I think the guy was completely freaked out by the material AND by the fact that he seemed relatively in love with Rudolph. Or at least the actor playing Rudolph, whose boyfriend is now in the show as one of the elves. He’s simply a delight to play with.

I like the new directors style, and I like how interactive it is with the folks who know the show and him. Definitely there’s something new coming to this party, but echos of the old production are still there. I’m hoping that the set will be as rich as it seems at the moment.

In the toy scene, I’m playing an interesting public figure. I’m not going to share exactly what or who it is yet. But I get to say the word puzzy and vagina. And every time I think of the word vagina on stage, I picture either Trista Smith or Annie Gloyn doing the part of Typist-slash-Guard bellowing it out. I really must try my best not to crack on stage when I say it.

Not sure how many of you know this, but I’m a licensed HAM radio operator. I don’t regularly ragchew (that’s radio slang for talk) with the other HAM’s in the area because the 2 meters and 70cm repeaters aren’t that interesting, but lately I’ve been more than intrigued in the prospect of making long distance contacts on 20 meters.

Long distance contacts, or DXing, happen when radio waves bounce around in the layers of the atmosphere. That’s called HF propagation (high frequency). 20 meter long wavelengths tend to travel incredible distances because of the unique properties of the ionosphere which actually acts like an electrical conductor. It’s all based in some scientific principals which I don’t know well yet, but have to learn.

Here’s the thing. I hold a Technician Class License, which means I’m restricted to transmitting only on certain frequencies. 20 meters isn’t one of them. I can listen to whatever I like, but the license grants you the permission to transmit only on certain bands. So I’m currently studying for my General Class License, which will open most of the world of the HF bands to me.

Let me tell you, the General class stuff ain’t easy. The test is heavily infused with technical diagrams, electrical nomenclature (ohms, volts, amps, inductance, capacitance, anyone?), antenna theory, safety, compliance, and lots of regulatory laws. It’s pretty rough going and I’m barely keeping my head above water as I study. But I really REALLY want my General license.

I don’t have a radio or antenna capable of receiving 20 meters yet. I’m looking, with the help of my friend Gene at work, at a few models, but they are all pretty expensive. Not to mention I really need to devise some sort of antenna for my apartment. I don’t know how that’ll happen, but it will.

So I’m studying and dreaming of 20 meters. Geeky yes, but it’s pretty spectacular to think you can turn on a radio and talk with someone on the other side of the world.

Saturday after guitar class we began working on the vocals for Rudolph. The cast members who had never heard the songs before had the chance to really hear the music while reading the text of the songs. At one point, guided by the brilliant Lon Ellenberger, the collective look of horror draped over several faces. Not horror in a bad way, but it was hysterical to read their faces.

What the hell did I get myself into?

I remember thinking the same thing the first time I heard the Rudolph music. I was mortified AND amazed at how fucking profound it was. Candy-coated in the most bizarre of ways, the irony of a group of reindeer gleefully singing lines like “Yes, they’ll hate you if you’re different!” to Rudolph is just beyond. The show tells a hard-core moral story despite how eviscerated much of it seems.

In the next couple of days the new cast members will start to get it if they don’t already. But I remember the feeling. And to be honest, I loved it. David Cerda is truly an amazing man, and Rudolph is an amazing show.

I’m really glad to be in the cast.

I realized recently that I’m once again way too stretched for comfort. I do this to myself all the time. Trying to balance all the things I want versus the things I need is my Sisyphean plight.

So I made some room.

As of today, my final post on the Jersey Boys will mark my last post for Chicagoist. I could cough up a million reasons to stay with them. But I have a million and one more for leaving. The only thing I can say is that the return isn’t worth the investment. Working at an investment bank keeps me cognizant of such matters.

It’s not personal. I’m glad to have met a wide range of really interesting and talented people. God that sounds like I’m blowing smoke up their collective asses. But it’s true. They are a great group of writers. If they weren’t, the site would shrivel up and die like a dead shrub. That’s not going to happen any time soon. Trust.

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Rudolph rehearsal began last night. The rewrites are catty and fun, in true David Cerda & Handbag style. The new cast members all seem totally enthusiastic about the show and our director Justin has some terrific ideas about the show.

Of course, my first costume change will come exactly 45 seconds into the show. I shouldn’t be surprised because I had something like six changes in the last show, including three different sets of makeup. Ahh, theatre! How I’ve missed thee!

We blocked some of the open, but we’re still missing an elf. Sadly, my former cohorts Spike and Chip (played brilliantly by Chad and Geno) aren’t back this year. But the newest elf seems to have that comic knack for Spike and Fireball. I hope the third elf does too. And I also hope I don’t have a gigantic Drag Beast number…

Linda is back as Samantha the snow woman. I almost yelped with glee when I saw her at the table as I walked in to rehearsal. That gal can drop me with a look. I can’t remember what snarky comment she shot out last night but I nearly peed with glee. She’s got the gift of gab, and backstage with her was amazing last year. More of the same this go ’round no doubt.

Ed and Terry are back, as are Mike and Steve , along with Rachael who was in our little summer show Follow My Lead. The naturally talented Lori Lee, who makes a brilliant Yukon Cornelia, also rejoined the group. Dan, the littlest Herbie EVER (with sexy, ripped abs) should be back too, but he wasn’t at day one. I think BC is joining us as well, but SHE was naught to be found either. Divas, the lot of ‘em.

And so off we go, following the candy-cane road back to a darkly comic place called Christmastown. Knowing what I know of what we did last year, this ride is going to be even more fun than before.

What THE HELL am I going to bake for opening night?!

Ick. Been sick. Gettin’ no dick. WCQ commenter can go suck my prick. Don’t do internet tricks. Rice cookers are my shtick.

So this new boy left me hanging. In a dreadful way. We were supposed to meet for dinner Monday night but instead he decided to delay and delay until around 8:30 (in the PM) when he text messaged me that he wasn’t going to be “able to make it out tonight.”

I don’t play that. Buh-bye.

Nothing really invested in him for sure. But it was nice to have a bit of something here and there. In five days my life will be swallowed up by Rudolph, so there is a diversion on the horizon.

Been a while since I did a podcast of my own, but here ya go. I’m back. Talking about that moment when you move from lust to intimacy to love. Ang Lee’s movie really got my gears turning about it.

So I found out that my friend Sergio (boyfriend of Johnny Dangerous) has a soft spot for lemon cookies. We went out last night to grab a drink and they stopped by for a bit. How apropos that the first thing I baked post-fast was a super simple frosted lemon cookie recipe. They are made completely in the food-processor and the most difficult thing about them is waiting for the dough to cool down enough to slice into rounds.

They’re basically a sugar cookie made with with lemon juice and zest. The frosting is a bit of cream cheese (or milk), lemon juice, and tons of powdered sugar. Easy peasy and super delicious, this recipe is adapted from the Cooks Illustrated version. The nutmeg sounds strange but trust me, it works.

Cookies:

3/4 cup granulated sugar
2 tablespoons grated lemon zest
1 3/4 cup all-purpose flour
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon baking powder
1 1/2 sticks cold unsalted butter, cut into small cubes
2 tablespoons lemon juice
1 large egg yolk
1/2 teaspoon vanilla
3 pinches nutmeg (fresh grated is best)

1. Add sugar and zest to food processor and process until the sugar is damp and you can really smell the lemon.
2. Add the flour, salt, baking powder to the processor and process until blended, a few good pulses to really stir it all up.
3. Evenly distribute cold butter cubes over flour mixture and process in 10-15 pulses until butter is cut into the mixture and the texture is cornmeal like.
4. Whisk yolk, lemon juice, vanilla, and nutmeg in a measuring cup with a spout.
5. Turn processor on and stream the liquid mixture into the processor. Let it run until a dough begins to form. It only should take between 10 and 30 seconds.
6. Unload the dough onto a piece of plastic wrap and shape into a log of dough about 2 inches wide. Wrap tightly and put in the freezer for 45 minutes.
7. Slice the dough to about 1/2 inch rounds and spread at least 2″ apart. They will spread, so be careful not to get them too close.
8. Bake at 375F for about 15 minutes or until the edges are golden brown.
9. Cool the cookies completely before frosting.

Glaze:

1 teaspoon cream cheese or milk
2 tablespoons lemon juice
about 1 1/2 cups powdered sugar

1. Whisk the lemon juice and milk / cream cheese
2. Whisk in the first cup of powdered sugar until a smooth paste forms. Add more powdered sugar until it’s spreadable but thick.
3. Place cookies on a wire rack over a cookie sheet. Spoon one teaspoon on each cookie and allow it to spread and harden on each cookie. Takes between 20 to 40 minutes, depending on how warm or dry your place is.
4. Eat!

I’m done with fasting. I returned to the world of food a few days earlier than planned because mybody was telling me it was time to eat. And hey, who can argue with a command from your gut? I feel pretty damn good right now. Clean and fresh, and OK with food in general. It took some baby steps to get into the swing, but I’m back.

I went to see Lust, Caution with my friend Jen on Saturday. It’s the amazing new Ang Lee film (aren’t all Ang Lee films amazing?) and I recommend you go out and see it. It’s subtitled, in Mandarin, Cantonese, Shanghainese, and a tiny bit of Japanese. The film is a three hour commitment but it’s absolutely worth every gorgeously painted moment. I won’t expand on the story, but you must see this one. Delightful.

Rudolph rehearsals are supposed to begin next week but I haven’t heard a peep out of anyone about it. I hope someone lights a fire and figures it all out. I *think* I’m still a part of it, but there has been zero communication. Here’s hoping.