searching, not searching, finding, not finding
There is really only one thing missing in my life at the moment. As far as material things go, I don’t want for anything. I’m blessed to have good friends. I love my job, my apartment, and my life.
But I’m single.
You could argue that being single isn’t necessarily a bad thing And I’m not even saying it is. But why in the name of all that is good do I think about it all the damn time? I can’t seem to get through a day without seeing some suggestion of relationships around me. All that manages to do is raise more questions in my head.
Do I really mind being alone? Am I looking for a relationship? Should I be in a relationship?
I look, I don’t look, I find, I don’t find, I try, I don’t try, and no matter what, I’m still single. I think tonight I need to record a podcast and sort this out verbally. Or at least try to.
March 10th, 2008
Hey Peter!
This is something that has occupied my thoughts on occasion as well. I have a couple of ideas I’d like to share. And please take what you will from it, and season the rest to taste.
Option 1. You really are open to and interested in a long term relationship, but have yet to find a man whose chemistry mixes well enough with yours to provide enough of a catalyst to keep both parties interested in forming the kind of bond it takes for an LTR. In which case it’s just a matter of time / opportunity before meeting that person(s).
Option 2. You are not truly open to / interested in an LTR. Sometimes it’s hard to know what you want. For example most of my single friends want to be in a relationship, and most of my coupled friends struggle with wanting some kind of freedom from the relationship they are in. That grass will just not stop being greener will it?
As you’ve so rightly observed, who is to say which is better, and of course it all varies greatly from person to person, there is no one right answer. And that answer can change even for one person over the course of time.
It’s such a nebulous thing. But what I do know from listening to WCQ (which perhaps you’ll talk about why you left in your next podcast?) and radiopeter is that you are a smart, confident, sexy guy with a lot to offer. So I would wager that it’s not a matter of there are no guys that want you, but more, how many guys actually interest you. We all have a laundry list of things we’d like in a potential husband, and while some are certainly deal breakers if not present, others are just part of the compromise that compose all relationships.
Funny, you have the one thing that holds most men back from being in a relationship. Confidence. A sense of who you are, and what you want. And I think with that little gem in your pocket, it’s really all about who you’re open to getting to know and not the other way around.
Would love to hear more of your thoughts on this,
Pete–