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	<title>Comments on: searching, not searching, finding, not finding</title>
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	<link>http://www.radiopeter.com/2008/03/10/searching-not-searching-finding-not-finding/</link>
	<description>Peter Mavrik, The Queer In Your Ear, produces his show right from the heart of Boystown in Chicago, Illinois.  Listen to his unique perspective on life, love, the world around him, and the people in it.</description>
	<pubDate>Fri, 05 Dec 2008 02:05:34 +0000</pubDate>
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		<title>By: Pete in SF</title>
		<link>http://www.radiopeter.com/2008/03/10/searching-not-searching-finding-not-finding/#comment-16296</link>
		<dc:creator>Pete in SF</dc:creator>
		<pubDate>Mon, 10 Mar 2008 21:18:42 +0000</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.radiopeter.com/2008/03/10/searching-not-searching-finding-not-finding/#comment-16296</guid>
		<description>Hey Peter!

This is something that has occupied my thoughts on occasion as well.  I have a couple of ideas I'd like to share.  And please take what you will from it, and season the rest to taste.

Option 1.  You really are open to and interested in a long term relationship, but have yet to find a man whose chemistry mixes well enough with yours to provide enough of a catalyst to keep both parties interested in forming the kind of bond it takes for an LTR.  In which case it's just a matter of time / opportunity before meeting that person(s).

Option 2.  You are not truly open to / interested in an LTR.  Sometimes it's hard to know what you want.  For example most of my single friends want to be in a relationship, and most of my coupled friends struggle with wanting some kind of freedom from the relationship they are in. That grass will just not stop being greener will it?

As you've so rightly observed, who is to say which is better, and of course it all varies greatly from person to person, there is no one right answer.  And that answer can change even for one person over the course of time.

It's such a nebulous thing.  But what I do know from listening to WCQ (which perhaps you'll talk about why you left in your next podcast?) and radiopeter is that you are a smart, confident, sexy guy with a lot to offer.  So I would wager that it's not a matter of there are no guys that want you, but more, how many guys actually interest you.  We all have a laundry list of things we'd like in a potential husband, and while some are certainly deal breakers if not present, others are just part of the compromise that compose all relationships.

Funny, you have the one thing that holds most men back from being in a relationship.  Confidence.  A sense of who you are, and what you want.  And I think with that little gem in your pocket, it's really all about who you're open to getting to know and not the other way around.

Would love to hear more of your thoughts on this,
Pete--</description>
		<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Hey Peter!</p>
<p>This is something that has occupied my thoughts on occasion as well.  I have a couple of ideas I&#8217;d like to share.  And please take what you will from it, and season the rest to taste.</p>
<p>Option 1.  You really are open to and interested in a long term relationship, but have yet to find a man whose chemistry mixes well enough with yours to provide enough of a catalyst to keep both parties interested in forming the kind of bond it takes for an LTR.  In which case it&#8217;s just a matter of time / opportunity before meeting that person(s).</p>
<p>Option 2.  You are not truly open to / interested in an LTR.  Sometimes it&#8217;s hard to know what you want.  For example most of my single friends want to be in a relationship, and most of my coupled friends struggle with wanting some kind of freedom from the relationship they are in. That grass will just not stop being greener will it?</p>
<p>As you&#8217;ve so rightly observed, who is to say which is better, and of course it all varies greatly from person to person, there is no one right answer.  And that answer can change even for one person over the course of time.</p>
<p>It&#8217;s such a nebulous thing.  But what I do know from listening to WCQ (which perhaps you&#8217;ll talk about why you left in your next podcast?) and radiopeter is that you are a smart, confident, sexy guy with a lot to offer.  So I would wager that it&#8217;s not a matter of there are no guys that want you, but more, how many guys actually interest you.  We all have a laundry list of things we&#8217;d like in a potential husband, and while some are certainly deal breakers if not present, others are just part of the compromise that compose all relationships.</p>
<p>Funny, you have the one thing that holds most men back from being in a relationship.  Confidence.  A sense of who you are, and what you want.  And I think with that little gem in your pocket, it&#8217;s really all about who you&#8217;re open to getting to know and not the other way around.</p>
<p>Would love to hear more of your thoughts on this,<br />
Pete&#8211;</p>
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