secrets and truths
I found out last night that another one of my friends is positive. It wasn’t a sit-down conversation about it, but it came to light while we were talking. He thought I knew, and I hadn’t a clue.
It’s still sinking in today, and I don’t know how I feel, if I should feel, or what I should feel. The thing that boggles my mind is that he thought I knew. Given another situation where I found out about a former close friend’s status (who’s friendship ended poorly for a million reasons) this marks the second time I’m the last to know.
I’m not hurt, just puzzled. I wanted to ask why and how and when, but neither the time nor the place was apropos of the subject. It was, for me, a stark reminder of how secrets become truths with just a few words.
April 17th, 2008 at 4:00 pm
I was discussing this with a friend just a couple of days ago - - how when I first moved to Chicago (it feels like I moved here by covered wagon, but that’s not quite right), it seemed that more people discussed and disclosed their HIV positive status more frequently. It feels like nowadays, HIV is back in the closet, so when you someone does tell you that they are positive, it feels like a little more of a shock. I may be wrong about this, but that’s what it feels like to me.
April 24th, 2008 at 8:51 am
I think it’s hard for people to admit now because of the fear of being judged. Particularly now.
April 24th, 2008 at 9:05 am
Indeed the judge and jury are often roaming the streets of Chicago. Funny tho, in other cities it doesn’t seem to hold up. People seem much more forthright, at least in my experience.