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Dyson can you hear me?

Dyson, the company known for making those crazy-insane vacuum cleaners, needs to come up with a gizmo to suck the gooey stuff out of my lungs. I’d gladly lay down five easy payments of $39.95 for such an As-Seen-On-TV gadget such as that.

I’ve spent the last three days exuding more secretions than I care to dive into detail about. What the hell I have is anyones guess, but it seems to be a crappy flu-like demon that is hiding in my chest. Very Alien like. Well, Alien meets The Blob.

The worst part is the wheezing. Today is better, and I can breathe normally without the cacophony of noises in my chest. I also have no fever today, which means the infectious nature of whatever it is I have has departed. But two days ago every breath I took reminded me of the windswept forest at the beginning of The Legend of Sleepy Hollow.

Whoosh I says. Whoosh.

Today I’m bringing up gobs of gunk. When I cough I sound a bit like Juno (Sylvia Sidney) in Beetlejuice. Attractive right? At least I’m back at work.

P.S. My Roku is here. Unboxing pics to come!

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